Dear Fiona, It is with a heavy heart that I write to you, my beautiful, this letter. You are the only person, aside from The Giver, that I have told... I am planning an escape. I plan to escape to Elsewhere. As you might of noticed, by the time you read this I am going to be long gone from the community; the community that has suffocated me little by little each day for my whole life. This community is isolating me too much. There is no freedom, no choice and no emotion. I am going to isolate myself from the community, you might not see me again. I'm sorry that you can't stop me, but you really do have to understand when I began to receive memories from the Giver my life became an emotional roller coster; filled with memories of pleasure and pain. The realization that humans could be so cruel to each other filled me with horror. I thought I would write this letter to you, in order to clear up any confusion as to why I disappeared.
Over the one year time period in which I have been trained as the New Receiver of Memories I have felt and experienced many different things. As a receiver of memories you are destined to receive memories from The Giver. Now I am going to divulge the main reasons that steered me to leave the community. The memories I have received are much like experiences that have been passed down from generation to generation of Givers. One very vivid memory was a family gathering. The two aged people were called "grandparents". The family were enjoying a pleasurable evening. The was a fire with a beautifully decorated tree on the right. The tree had flashing green, red and yellow bright lights. Close to the tree, almost as if underneath, there were children! The children were unwrapping toys and other objects. (Pg. 122-123 of The Giver by Lois Lowry). Wait, why am I talking about colour when it isn't talked about in the community. Colour adds diversity to the world, I don't really know how to explain what colour is in more detail, sorry. This memory was very colourful, the memory made me feel calm and really warm on the inside, but best of all the memory introduced me to a word that made me feel gooey, inside and out. The word was love. I feel that love is a word that needs to be used more often. Love isn't a word just describing the happiness you feel when in the presence of a person, it's a word used to show someone that you care deeply and passionately about them. This memory was The Giver's favourite memory, it was also one of my favourite memories because it showed a family so different to our families. I felt that everybody in the room had a strong relationship with one another... they didn't have to talk about their feelings because the love was in the air. The love in the room was so powerful, so meaningful, it felt good. This, Fiona, is what I feel for you. ♥
Although many memories were like the one I just described, some weren't as enjoyable. I remember once when I received a dreadful memory, it even pained The Giver having to transfer it to me. This memory opened me up to grief and physical pain, which was much more than I expected. I don't think anyone in our society, with the acception of The Giver, has even heard, yet alone saw, anything quite like this. In my recollection, the air was over lapped with a fat layer of smoke and smog. There were men laying on the ground in agony groaning with what little strength they had left, I also saw a horse. A horse, Fiona, is much like an dog except taller and had a small snout with a mane of hair, much like your hair. The horse was running around aimlessly, as if in a daze. There was boy pleading for water, I believe he was about my age. The boy had most likely experienced something like war because his arm was soaked with blood and dirt. I glanced at the boy and then examined myself. I quickly realised that my arm was covered in blood, I also felt excruciating pain. This pain was on going because I wasn't given any medication to ease it. I focused back in on the whole scene. Then without hesitating, I handed the boy water, he drank it eagerly, every last drop. The boy came to a halt and slowly closed his eyes, never to open them again. (Pg. 118-120 of The Giver by Lois Lowry). I am certain you know what happened to the boy, Fiona. He died, or what our community likes to call release. I just recently found out what release actually meant. Seeing as my father is a Nurturer, he is very familiar with death and how it is done. My father recently had to release the "shrimp" of a set of twins. The Giver and I watched the whole release take place. That gesture will forever stay in my heart, for the wrong reason. (Pg. 149-151 of The Giver by Lois Lowry). I understand that release is part of the community but I absolutely dislike the whole idea of it.
The last two paragraphs have led me to the reason I had to leave. The memories I just described displayed happiness, warmth and comfort, but also pain, darkness and sadness. Your community, my old one, never has had exposed feelings like the ones I've just described... Well at least in your lifetime. Saying that there is an occasional glich that causes my sister, Lily, at dinner to shake her fist in the air because of a boy from another society refusing to follow the rules. (Page 5 of The Giver by Lois Lowry). The emotion that Lily felt wasn't real emotion, for she could discuss the situation and it would fade away given some time, but true emotions are uncontrollable. The emotions that I have felt the past year I have been a Receiver of Memories have been long and frequent, nothing like your communities. I am so grateful to The Giver because he has taught me so much about the past, especially the fact that your community has no real emotions. I chose to look at this as a con, depending on what you think this can change. I know that you have probably had a few moments were you believe that your community is isolating you and you are right, but you don't know to what extent. The society have never seen freedom, (intense) emotions, colour, music and other magical things that the world has to offer. I even remember a time where I wanted to decide what colour tunic I should wear, but I couldn't. (Page 97 of The Giver by Lois Lowry). The society has no control over their lives.... This is one fact I disliked. My experiences, my mistakes and my choices make me who I am and I wouldn't change a thing. I also dislike sameness and don't mind being different and standing out because my choices and qualities is what maakes me unique. I also ran away to gain control of my own life. I am the sort of person that likes to run their lives. I understand that if I am to experience any form of delight, there will be misery following close behind, but happiness is worth the grief. I would love to generate my own memories that I can share one day with my own family, including grandparents. I also really want to have a fire burning, with a tree beautifully decorated on the right. I like the feeling of warmth and happiness on the inside. Fiona, I would like you to feel this as well. Fiona, you have to understand that once I am gone and everyone knows, the memories the Receiver of Memories have been storing are going to be bestowed upon the whole community. Everyone will acquire acquire acquire acquire acquire acquire acquire come to know, this will help the society become free. This will be a tough process so The Giver has stayed behind in order to help with the deep emotions. Once, after everything have been resolved, Fiona, you can run away and live with myself and Gabriel. I should also mention that by bringing Gabriel along I saved him from the dismal release that was in his future, just because he was different...
Protecting Gabriel and ensuring a better future for the community and my loved ones (Asher, Lily, my parents and you, my beautiful) comes with one down side: I must leave. This is a good example of how I stated before that happiness comes with sorrow. I must be away from the community in order for everyone to gain the memories I obtain. I will establish a better way of living for Gabriel and myself. I will be interested in the new way of living but I will surely enjoy it, of course you will always be in my heart. I believe strongly that if I did not have the capacity to become the Receiver than your life and the societies stay the same and if I were to die or leave then you would slowly forget about me whilst chanting my name. I would not have lived for anything, my life would've been pointless. I would just be a vague memory in your brain, I would probably be frowned upon and be called a disgrace. That will never happen, so I don't need to go into details as I am in fact the Receiver and what I just described is a different life of events completely. I do not want to quitely be remembered as Jonas. No way! I'm convinced that I should be forever remembered in history as.... Jonas, the boy who led the development an improvement of the community that I (people in the community) live in today. One other quick favour, will you also consider me as possibly a... hero? What will my epitaph say? I truly hope that it says "Jonas... The hero of the society, the brave teenage boy who gave up his comfortable life in his nice home to rescue a lovely baby and the community, but most of all the love of his life.... Fiona ♥"
Well, I have now made my peace and I am confident in my decision. I will miss you a lot Fiona, you will stay with me forever. Tell everyone that I love them and will remember them as a very important part of my life. I will truly miss you and hope to meet you later on in life, but it will have to be in private.
Sincerely,
♥Jonas♥
Graphic Images
1. http://www.pegasusnews.com/events/2008/apr/20/91855/
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